Katreiliquay's Blog

Know Hope.

katreiliquay — Sat, 04 Jul 2009 08:20:08 +0000

Coming back from FBC youth camp and experiencing being a cabin leader for the first time has been a blessing. At first I was not aware that the Lord was calling me to be a leader and witness to the girls in my cabin and as the days progressed, I truly felt his purpose for allowing me to be at camp. I have had the privellege to fellowship with the wonderful girls in cabin Eve. Mia, Ashley, Claire, Cassie, Joshuelle, Janet, and Kylie I love you girls and continue to pray for your spiritual growth and that you continue your walks with the Lord.

As the week progressed and speaking with my brother, it was amazing to see how God was using Ate’s testimony to witness to others and bringing unbelievers to the saving knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. The sessions given by the speaker Pastor Danny Cortez were unbelieveable. Learning about what REAL hope is and the fact that it is much larger than what the world thinks it is. The sessions have blessed me by making me realize that my purpose has no similarities to what I’ve been spending most of my life trying to accomplish. By this I pray that the Lord will lead me to continue to do his work and that he gives me the knowledge, courage, and wisdom to follow his plan for me.

peace,

Katrina Encarnacion Pantig

Wednesday nights

katreiliquay — Thu, 25 Jun 2009 08:01:05 +0000

Kuya Bong’s words of wisdom struck me in a hard and precise yet scary way. “Don’t ever beg to a guy to stay with you or love you.”

All those stories about wonderful emotions when being in love I’ve always thought and still do, are completely myths. Yeah no doubt there are times while with your significant other that you’re completely and irrevocably in love with that person, an emotion that makes your heart flutter and gives you butterflies. However, love cannot stand strong when it is based simply on emotions….right? I guess growing up, I saw the different way love was expressed and it was definately not always joyful or happy. Most of the time it was heartbreaking and difficult and expressed through humility and sacrifice. Never giving up on a person, handing all their shit and accepting how messed up they are in the head sometimes are the things one deals with when commiting themselves to the person they love. In today’s society, young people are fooled into thinking that materialistic and wordly things can solve the problems in a relationship. By this I’m not only talking about possessions but about the way a guy will sweet talk you or make lame promises right after he disrespects you. How texting and calling 24/7 with cheesy apologies and messages will make up for calling you “a bitch” a few days ago which left you in tears. And how a highschool relationship will never be completely fufilling if it has not endured the greatest hardships that can occur in life which ultimately make two people soul mates and prepared for their future together.

And all of this simply shows me that I, as a young woman will never find my soul mate if I search for him because the truth is, we can make the longest list of traits and aspects we want in a boyfriend but it doesn’t mean that it will be enough. God has chosen that person for me and it is in God’s time that I will meet him. This past year has made me a patient person and given the meaning of a truthful, sincere, beautiful, loving, caring, and God-willing relationship with my soul mate all the more precious and valuble. And as I await that time, I must constantly remind myself that if the relationships I see around me are really driven by a purpose that the Lord has for them……the love in that relationship will be reflected by the pure goodness, love, respect and craziness two human beings have for one another.

PEACE OUT.

-Katrina Pantig

2 Month Anniversary, Rest in Paradise Jessica Flores

katreiliquay — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 08:25:19 +0000

It’s amazing how these past two months have seemed like a mere week or two. There are times where it is definately hard to think straight, eat, sleep, or even to simply be calm. There is an unrelenting feeling of anxiety that completes consumes me. While everything on my ‘to-do’ list seems to be done and all matters regarding ASB/school/work/family etc are taken care of….i feel extremely anxious. It’s that feeling you get when you’re playing tag and someone’s chasing you, when you’re going up on a rollercoaster and ready to drop, as if you’re about to take a test you haven’t studied for, or the feeling like you’ve left the stove on at home. It’s just like there is always something incomplete.

As I type this more and more I realize how personal i’m getting about my sister and it does not bother me for the simple fact that this is my very first blog entry and it also so happens to be the two month anniversary of her passing.

Ate, there are no words to express the emptiness I feel when we’re having dinner at home and everyone’s here except for you. No words to express how much it hurts to speak of you and use your name in the past tense. No words to express how weird it is to go eat sushi, shopping, or just chillin at home without you. No words to express how painful and difficult it is to hear any NSYNC song (especially “This I promise you) No words to express how i’ve been wanting to watch all of your favorite movies like the Sandlot and Clueless yet I don’t have the strength to do so. No words to express how watching a Giants game on tv means so much more to me now that you’re gone. No words to express how heartbreaking it is to see kuya eric pull up in his car on the weekends without you in the passenger’s seat. No words to express how I loathe going to amusement parks because of all the years we spent going to Great America together and remembering how much fun you had despite your health. No words to express how it horrifies me to be in a hospital remembering you in your last hours. No words to express how hearing Tita Daisy’s voice can bring tears to my eyes and pull my heart strings. No words to express how I’ve been wishing for these past two months that time could just stop so I could some how feel closer to you. No words to explain how truly proud I am of you for being brave and being a fighter. No words to express how you’ve touched the lives of everyone around you and it is through your memory that I feel God’s unconditional love and sovereignty over all of our lives. But more importantly, there are no words to express how completely different I feel as a person and how much your passing has changed the way I think and what I do.

There are days where I want to go back to two months ago and be in mourning for you and I understand that it is extremely selfish of me but I have no idea how to explain that although it was the hardest day of my life, I feel closer to you in time when I think of that day. Everything seems a little less than it was before. After April.23rd I felt like I was living in a different world and everyday before that day was a completely different ERA than right now.

Praise God for allowing all of us, (for the most part) go through the process of healing and although the days are still difficult….we are further than we were two months ago. I will never forget the phone call I got the day before during my AP US History class hearing my brother hysterically crying and sobbing yelling “caprice! i don’t know what to do. The doctor said she only has two days left!” Nor will I forget the next day that I ran into a closet to call my brother after a text he sent me telling me the doctors said she wouldn’t make it past tonight, and how I just completely felt apart and cringed into a ball on the floor with tears flooding my eyes.

Ate, even though it’s hard, I have joy knowing you’ve gone home to be with the Lord and you’re no longer supressed and burdened with MILAS, the disease that took your life but not your soul because you lived every single day to the fullest with no regret or sadness but only joy and happiness. When I’m caught in a bad situation or I need help, I know you’re my angel who’s helping me and keeping me strong when I’m completely exhausted from a life of work/school then work and school again.

I would give anything to have another day with you. I wish I could have told you how you changed my life from the first day that I met you. That I could have told you growing up with you, Kuya Eric, our younger siblings and entire family allowed me to feel love, accepted, and as If I belonged someplace in the world. There’s so much I still have left to say but thank God for your life and for all the memories we shared together. I love you sister and I know you’re probably up there with the Lord with that same swag you walked around with.

I’ll always love you and miss you.

-Caprice

Hello world!

katreiliquay — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 08:00:03 +0000

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